Look, I think that it’s safe to say we have all noticed how divisive our culture is at present. Note that I said divisive, not divided. We like to argue. We say things on social media that most would never dare utter out loud, let alone in public. Heaven forbid we actually mean what we say and say what we mean…
If you’re like me, then you have noticed just how differently this generation is being raised up compared to the previous. There is a great awakening happening, especially with parenting. Fading away is the “because I said so!” and “so help me, you had better obey!” days of rearing up our children. Instead, understanding is slowly taking root and growing in our kids a kinder heart, one that leans in on the love of their parents.
At least, that’s how it should be. Anger and fear as motivators only produce people who more often than not simply react to a situation, instead of responding to the situation. It’s what “Christians” and the modern “Church” have been peddling for what seems like ages. Be afraid of the consequences (either earthly or eternally) and therefore learn to be “better”, instead of learning why you should be and act like a decent human being who cares about the well-being of others. The result is parents who beat their children, get in their face and yell and expect behaviors to change. Really, that approach is rooted in selfishness. Your kid is doing something that inconveniences you, and so to make your life easier, you berate them into submission instead of taking advantage of the humbling responsibility of raising the next generation of humans on this beautiful planet.
Talking to myself here, guys, so don’t think that I am trying to single anyone out. I just want to raise awareness, provoke thought, and for the love of our children help you see what I have seen, which is that we desperately, nay we MUST do a better job in rearing up our children. If they can’t lean into and rest in the love of their parents, where else will they find the peace and love that they need so badly? Whether you believe in the God that created all of us or not, he’s given all parents the most important responsibility there could ever be, and that is to show his love to our children in ways that he cannot, because he is not physically present. Of course, this does sometimes mean discipline. A child that gets away with doing literally anything and everything that they want is one raised to be entitled and ungrateful. The key is explaining, not exploiting fear. Teaching, not berating. Responding to their poor behavior, instead of reacting with harsh anger that does not show love in any of its forms.
I love my kids more than words in a text could ever properly express, and I know for a fact that I did not show that, at all, until this year. It is a humbling, heart-wrenching admission, but it’s a cross that I must bear and a realization I must keep close if I am to train them up and love them the way that they should be loved. So if you have kids, or even if you don’t: be better. Don’t act better, don’t beat yourself up until you manage the anger and issues “well-enough” to do a semi-decent job at being a sort of ok person. Open up your heart to the one that can bring you into the fullness of who you are created to be, and explode out of you all of the qualities that you are supposed to show every single day. Or even if you scoff and are unable to surrender and experience the true and lasting freedom that brings, at least take to heart the challenge to truly love your kids.
Copyright © 2022 D.M. Kurtz
D.M. Kurtz 