Cursed By Rebirth? – Installment 10

Cursed by Rebirth?

By

D.M. KURTZ

Installment 10: A Cold Day

The chill air served as a gloomy reminder of such an ominous occasion. Jason inhaled sharply, and his breath turned to vapor as it slowly left his labored lungs. He reached out with his right hand and cringed when the cool stone filled his palm. He closed his eyes and allowed a surge of emotion to course through him before he swallowed the lump that had suddenly risen in his taut throat. This certainly wasn’t where he had expected to be, amidst markers encompassed by the flowers placed carefully by the loved ones left behind.

He gingerly set a bouquet of his own at the base of the tombstone at his feet. It seemed almost silly that he should feel so much grief upon visiting the grave of someone he’d never even met. Nevertheless, he couldn’t shake the turmoil within, shrouded by guilt at his own impossible snap decision. Emotions he hadn’t yet voiced haunted him, while a pain too deep to describe racked at his heart.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “I failed you,” he added in a near whisper. “I’m so sorry…”

A hand came to rest gently on his shoulder, and he allowed the fingers on his left hand to caress those soft knuckles. He heard a muffled sob and turned to see tears streaming down Amanda’s still bruised face. Heat ran down his spine and he rose quickly to pull her into a crushing embrace. Words failed him, for he wanted nothing more than to bring her comfort, yet he knew that he was partially the cause of her pain. For several minutes he simply held here there while his mind wandered back to that fateful moment just a week prior…

“Please help her, you have to… you have to help her!” Jason followed the gurney that held his beloved as the nurses and doctors hurriedly wheeled her to a small room just inside the doors of the hospital. He watched in a panic while they hooked up monitors and spoke in rushed tones a hospital jargon that he didn’t understand. All he knew was that Amanda was unconscious and bleeding, and he was terrified. The one who seemed to be the lead doctor mentioned something about internal hemorrhaging, and a nurse rushed over with an ultrasound machine.

“Umm… Doctor is that, is that a heartbeat?” The nurse that moved the little wand seemed nervous and hesitant, as if she was new, and that served to disturb Jason all the more.

The doctor cursed under his breath.

“You didn’t think it worth mentioning that she was pregnant?!” He demanded angrily. Jason blinked, for he realized after a moment that the man was addressing him.

“I, I…” he stuttered.

“You didn’t know,” the doctor remarked.

Jason was reeling. His possible concussion was likely a contributing factor, but regardless he found it impossible to process everything that had and was happening. The doctor was saying something that again he didn’t understand. His confusion must have been apparent, because the man sighed and moved to look him in the eyes.

“We can try to save the fetus, but with this kind of hemorrhaging it’s very unlikely that we will be successful. At this point, we need to focus on your wife, but since she’s unable to speak for herself, you need to decide right now if you want to risk losing her.”

Jason swallowed hard.

“I.. she’s not..” he blinked and cleared his throat. “Save her,” he added feverishly. “Save her, whatever… just bring her back to me, please.”

The doctor nodded, and the room seemed to diminish as he barked orders that the nurses were quick to follow…

“I love you,” Jason told her as the memory faded. They were the only words that he could muster and, much to his surprise, she clinched her arms tighter around his waist.

“I love you,” she whispered in his ear. After a few moments more, she sniffled and pulled back to stand at his side with her hand in his own.

“I’d planned to tell you,” she said softly. “At the resort, over drinks.” She huffed and smiled sadly. “I was going to let you take a sip and then say, ‘wait, I can’t’.” Her voice trailed off while her face became scrunched with grief.

“I don’t blame you,” she told him as she lifted red eyes that connected with his own pained wells.

“I… I couldn’t lose you,” Jason choked. Tears escaped his lids and slid down both cheeks, and Amanda was quick to slip her arms around him once more.

Jason was swallowed by grief, but at the same time he felt an immense relief to experience the warmth of her body against his own. He held her that much tighter, for her breath on his neck reminded him of just how close he’d come to losing her forever. Even though they both were hurting, he knew deep down that he had made the right decision, for together they could conquer anything.

THE END

Copyright © 2018 D.M. Kurtz

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